Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
