I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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