fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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