I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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