Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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