Jerry, you need to find god
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
