Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Randomize
