am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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