Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
