? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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