I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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