I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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