I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just tell him i said nine months
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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