11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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