if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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