Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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