ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
