As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
