Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
