i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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