just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
