it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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