But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Alive.
So much puke
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
