I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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