that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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