I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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