if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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