I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm too high and old for this...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
