Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
