I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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