looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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