How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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