So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
