if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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