Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
