Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry hahahaha22 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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(904): View more from Florida

I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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(650): View more from California

I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

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(361): View more from Texas

He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.

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