He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
