Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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