He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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