Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
