she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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