Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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