are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
