can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
