it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize