just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
