Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There are leaves in my underwear?
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