Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
