A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
