I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize