I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
