she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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