Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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