out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
