i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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