Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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